Dealing With Jealousy in Relationships

How do you deal with jealousy in a relationship? As was stated in an earlier post, everyone is prone to get jealous from time to time. Jealousy is a reactionary emotion, which makes it a natural and normal emotional response to a perceived threat. It's how you deal with this emotion that affects your relationship. A lot of the time there really is nothing to be worried about, the jealousy is formed from our own worries and insecurities. There are 3 types of jealousy to consider.

Irrational Jealousy : Imagined or misperceived threat

Destructive Jealousy : Jealousy that can be backed up with evidence

Proactive Jealousy : Jealousy based on events that already happened

Whichever type of jealousy you have, dealing with it is mostly the same. Down below are 5 ways to help you ward off those jealous thoughts.

1. Recognize why you are jealous

2. Build up your self-esteem

3. Stop comparing yourself to others

4. Put yourself in other people's shoes

5. Keep in mind that acting jealous doesn't solve anything

Jealousy in Relationships

Jealousy is common even in the healthiest of relationships. People who feel inadequate, insecure, or overly dependent are prone to be more jealous than others, although jealousy is something that everyone experiences from time to time. No matter how secure in your relationship or yourself you are, you are bound to get jealous sometime. A little bit of jealousy is always good, it keeps you trying to impress your partner and will help better your relationship. Too much jealousy however, can totally ruin it. How can you tell if you or someone else has a jealousy problem? If either you or your partner does any of the following, you might have a jealousy problem:

• Listen in on your partners conversations

• Frown upon your partner participating in activities without you

• Read your partners email

• Constantly question your partner about where they were and who with

• Take an accusatory tone when asking them questions

• Get upset when your partner doesn't spend time with you

• Get angry when your partner looks at other people

• Interrogate your partners friends

• Don't want your partner to have single friends

• Don't let your partner have friends of the opposite sex

How to Deal With a Break-Up

Dealing with a break up is never easy. Especially if you were the one who got dumped. One thing that keeps people from moving on is holding on to a false hope that they might get back together with their ex-boyfriend or ex-girlfriend. Although this is a possibility, it should not become your main priority. You should concentrate your efforts into moving onto a new relationship. Down below are some tips to help you get started.

Stop feeling sorry for yourself

If you keep thinking about how badly you’ve been hurt you are going to continue to feel hurt. Stop feeling sorry for yourself and be determined to get over him or her. Try to remember some of the negative things you didn’t like about them instead of all the positives.

Destroy the Past

You need to get rid of anything that reminds you of your ex-boyfriend or ex-girlfriend. Having things around that remind you of your ex partner means that you are still holding on to some false hope. The sooner you get rid of these reminders the sooner you can begin moving on with your life.

Remember your friends

Your friends will always be there for you. They were there before you two got together and will be there for you after. More than likely they will be trying to get you to come out with them and introduce you to other men or women. You don’t have to jump back in the dating scene right away but you should at least get out of the house. Go out with your friends and have some fun, focus on yourself for a while.

Get Motivated

Don’t let this breakup take control of you. Join a gym, go out with friends, do whatever you need to get your life back on track. Set some new goals for yourself and focus on achieving them. When you just sit around the house alone that’s when all your thoughts about your ex are going to come up. Get a new hobby or anything that will keep you and your mind busy. 

The book below is a great help and should definitely be read by anyone who is trying to get over a break up. Any problems viewing the ad click HERE.

 

How To Ask Someone Out On a Date

Asking someone out on a date can be a terrifying experience. Your hands sweat, your voice cracks, you can’t seem to stop talking…what could be worse? The bad news is that there really is no way to avoid it; you are just going to have to suck it up and ask them. The good news is however, there are certain things you can do to help you increase your chances of getting a yes.

Be confident

Don’t set yourself up for failure by automatically assuming he or she is going to say no. Going into it with a great attitude will increase your chances tremendously. Don’t mope over to them; walk over there with confidence and a smile.

Establish Attraction

One thing you should always do is make sure he or she is attracted to you. Just because they seem nice doesn’t instantly guarantee attraction. They might think of you as a friend. Help with this can be found in my other posts, How To Let Him Know You Are Interested and Does He Like You.

Ask her out casually

Ask them out to lunch or some other casual activity. Try to avoid using the word “date” if you think it might freak them out. One way to do it is to mention that you are already doing whatever activity it is and it would be fun if they would come along.

Be specific

Don’t leave him or her clueless by just saying “Hey let’s go grab lunch sometime” or “We should see a movie”. Be specific about your plans. Tell them the name of the restaurant or wherever it is you want to go to, this will allow them to feel more comfortable and better prepare.

Timing

Timing is very important here. When you ask them out make sure you do it when you are both having a good time. I find it’s best to ask them when it’s just the two of you to increase your chances. People are a lot less likely to say yes when they are surrounded by their friends. Another thing is not to just ask them on a date out of the blue; even if they do like you, there is a possibility to get turned down when you just spring it up on them out of nowhere.

Top 5 Mistakes Made When Trying to Get Your Ex-Girlfriend Back

Most men would do anything to get their ex-girlfriend back. In some cases, this is possible if you approach the situation rationally. The problem here is that most men won’t sit down and make a plan on how to try and win her back. Don’t be one of them. Don’t just run to your ex-girlfriend crying with flowers in your hands, this is a technique that only works in the movies. Sit-down and make a plan on how you are going to approach the situation. If you are trying to successfully get your ex-girlfriend back, try not to make any of the mistakes listed below.

Begging and Pleading

Not only will this not work, it’s also a good way to push your ex-girlfriend away from you. Begging her to be with you will have you coming off as being desperate and needy which is something no girl wants to deal with. Not to mention the possibility of losing all respect with her.

Contacting her too often or too soon

One of the biggest mistakes men make in my opinion is contacting your ex too often or too soon. It’s common to think that if you don’t contact her that she’s going to think you’ve moved on. Actually, quite the opposite is true. Not contacting her will make her think about you and wonder why you aren’t speaking to her and what you are doing, thereby increasing the chances of her contacting you. Nonstop calls and messages will just make her feel embarrassed and more than likely just end up getting your number blocked.

Playing the Blame Game

Don’t argue over why the break up happened. Just accept that it did. Telling her it was her fault or bringing up her faults is only going to make her defensive and frustrate her even more with you. That doesn’t mean you have to agree with everything she says, but if you do discuss the break up, do it in a friendly non accusatory tone. Don’t put all the blame on yourself either. Approach it as a “we” situation.

Negative Talk

This is one of your biggest enemies when it comes to getting your ex girlfriend back. You need to believe you CAN and WILL get her back. The more you talk down to yourself (I’m not good enough, It’s all my fault, etc.) the more depressed and angry you will become. You need to think positively if you are to succeed in getting her back.

Isolating Yourself

Take some time after the break up to go out and have fun. Do some of the things you enjoyed doing while you were single. She fell in love with the confident guy who knew how to have fun, not the guy moping around in his pajamas on the couch. Going out and having fun will make her realize that you don’t NEED to be with her but WANT her. This is a huge step in getting your ex girlfriend back.

Why Your Partner Might Have Fallen Out of Love

There is nothing worse than hearing your partner tell you they want to break up. This is especially true if you thought everything was going great. How could they do this? WHY would they do this? One of the biggest reasons relationships tend to end over is one partner falling out of love. It might seem like an out of the blue thing, but it is something that has been coming for a while now, you just didn’t see the signs. People fall in and out of love for reasons unique to each individual, but down below the most common reasons are listed as to why he or she may have fallen out of love with you. 

Boredom 

Remember when you first started dating? Every day was a new adventure. Yet sadly now the only adventures you two have are deciding on which place to order dinner from. Being in a long term relationship, it’s easy to fall into a boring routine of doing the same thing day in and day out. Boredom will cause your partner to long for the days early in your relationship and possibly cause them to look for someone more spontaneous.

Grew Apart

As time goes by, all things and people change. You may be a different person then you were from when you two first started dating. Their goals and priorities might have changed. You may have developed some negative traits that changed the way he or she feels about you. Whatever the reason is, they just don’t see you the same way they did before.

Neglect

Have you been spending enough time with your partner? Constantly blowing them off to go out with friends or whatever the reason may be, will take its toll. Maybe you keep forgetting birthdays or anniversaries making them think these events don’t really matter to you, in turn making them think he or she doesn’t matter to you. Your partner might not come out and say they feel neglected, but their behavior will change.

They met someone else

Whether it’s a coworker or an old ex, there’s someone else in the picture. Men and women who are happy in their relationship won’t usually go out looking for someone else, but this brings us back to the reasons above. They are NOT happy with you. There are two things you can do here. If you feel you two were truly meant to be together, you can try to spice things up and attempt to spark some attraction again. Otherwise take it as a lesson learned and keep these things in mind when you start your new relationship.

Rose Color and Number Meanings

Did you know that different colored roses actually mean different things? If you are anything like most men, the answer to that question was most likely a no. For most men a flower is just a flower, but to women each flower has its own special meaning. Those roses you bought your friend for her birthday, did they mean friendship? What about the ones you bought your girlfriend for your anniversary, did they symbolize love? How can you be sure you are saying exactly what you mean? Down below you will find a list of rose colors and their intended meanings.

Red: Love, Beauty, Romantic Love

White: Purity, Innocence, Reverence

Pink (Light or Dark): Appreciation, Thanks, Gratitude

Yellow: Joy, Friendship, Delight

Orange: Desire, Enthusiasm

Red and White Together: Unity

Peach: Appreciation, Sincerity, Gratitude

Lavender: Enchantment

If that wasn’t confusing enough, the number of roses can actually make a difference as well.

Single Rose: Utmost devotion

Two Roses Entwined: “Marry Me”

Six Roses: Need to be loved or cherished

Eleven Roses: Truly and deeply loved

Thirteen Roses: Secret admirer

Porn Addiction in Relationships

Have you ever considered the effects pornography can have on a relationship? Porn can actually be healthy for a relationship and can help partners have fun and explore with each other. But like everything, too much of anything is never good. For some people this isn’t just something they watch occasionally, it's something that has changed how they act. Porn addiction in relationships is becoming a more serious problem with the ease of finding pornography for free on the internet. Listed below are the most common side effects a porn addiction can have on a relationship.

Unrealistic Expectations

Porn creates unrealistic expectations in people’s minds.  Not everyone looks like a super model in the real world and women don’t want sex all the time.

Self-esteem

Tying in with the first point, porn lowers self esteem making people believe they need to be as skinny or muscular as the actors and actresses they see.

Decreased Physical Intimacy

Constantly watching porn or masturbating can reduce the want for physical intimacy with your partner.

Loss of Social Life

The majority of porn addicts only want to stay at home on the computer and rarely want to go out and do anything else.

Change in Perception of Women

The most common theme in pornography is a woman giving herself to the man to please him, the entire focus being on the man. This can lead to the perception that women’s needs don’t need to be considered and only the man’s satisfaction matters.

Act Differently in the Bedroom

Your partner might want to emulate things they have seen which might not necessarily be healthy.

Diminished Sexual Pleasure

Too much porn can lead to a sort of “pleasure plateau”.  This will eventually lead to your partner needing something more graphic or exciting to get them stimulated.

The book below is a good read for anyone suffering from any kind of sexual addiction. If you are having trouble viewing the ad click HERE.