Why She Hasn't Called Back

So you went out on a date with an amazing woman. Everything was going great and you thought she was really into you. You leave her a message the next day telling her that you had a great time and hope to take her out again soon. Now it’s been days since your last date and you haven’t heard from her. Why hasn’t she called? Is she busy? Not interested? Hasn’t gotten your message? Maybe you think you called her too soon.

The answer however is that she most likely didn’t feel about the date the same way that you did. Why? You didn’t connect with her on an emotional level. While most men focus on getting a first date, a second date is equally important. When you ask her out on a first date, you are trying to distinguish yourself from all the other guys hitting on her. You have to give her a reason to pick you to go out with. The same rules apply when you are on your date, when the date is over and she goes home, she needs to feel like she made a connection with you.

You get her to call back by making her feel connected to you, whether this is by sharing a laugh, a moment, or an experience. Men feel connected by sharing activities while women feel connected by sharing stories and emotions. How do you connect with her? Talk to her like you would with a friend. Pay attention to the details of what she says. Remember the names of places, people, or pets she mentions. Make your phone call personal. Instead of saying something like “Hey I had fun last night we should do it again”, go with something along the lines of “Hey I enjoyed our conversation about your trip to Mexico last summer. I know a great place that serves the best Mexican food that I’d like to take you to this weekend”. Let her know you aren’t like all the other guys. Give her a reason to want to call you back.

When To Consider Marrige

When is the right time to consider marriage? This question is difficult to answer and in my opinion has no “right” answer. Marriage is a commitment between two people to share their life time together, become each others life partners. In my opinion you need to date for at least one year before you even consider marriage, but this doesn’t always prove true. Some married couples have known each other for a few months or even weeks and have had a happy marriage for years while others dated for 3+ years and end up getting divorced. It all comes down to how well you know your partner. Before you start thinking about when the right time to get married is, try to answer these questions first.

Can You Solve Problems Together?

Some couples are able to coast through dating troubles and are in for a shock when their first conflict hits while they are married. Conflict is an unavoidable part of life and it can destroy a couple who isn’t prepared and hasn’t learned how to deal with it properly.

Do You Take Care Of Each Others Needs?

An important aspect of marriage is “if it’s important to you it’s important to me”. People are naturally takers, so it’s going to take a great deal of effort to become a genuine giver.

Do You Trust Them?

A relationship is nothing without trust. Trust is one of the number 1 things you need to have if you plan for your marriage to succeed. If you don’t trust each other think twice about getting married.

Do You Want The Same Things In Life?

This is something that needs to be discussed before you two get married. You two need to be on the same page in terms of your values, priorities, and life goals.

Are You Financially Stable?

One thing few couples fail to do is make sure they are financially stable for marriage. If you are living with your parents or struggling to support yourself, you are not ready for marriage.

Marriage is a big step for every couple and you need to make sure that you and your partner are both ready for it before you take that step.

How To Get A Second Date

Working up the courage to ask someone out can be a difficult task for anyone. Once you have worked up the courage and asked someone out most people would think the hard part is over. You still however, have a long way to go. Now that you have a first date, how can you make sure that there will be a second one? You would have gone through all that trouble for nothing if he or she just nods the whole time and you never hear from them again. People are a lot more nervous and less likely to act like themselves on a first date so it’s essential that you can get a second one. Read on below for some tips on how to get a second date.

Be Nice to Others

Be nice to the people you come in contact with. Don’t leave a bad tip or get unnecessarily angry at others. The way you treat others is how your date is going to think you will treat them. Being needlessly rude to anyone will ruin your chances for a second date.

Ask Them Questions

No one likes conversations that lead nowhere. Avoid asking them questions that will end up with a simple yes or no response. Instead ask questions that will get them engaged in the conversation and have them asking you questions as well. Make a mental list of topics if you think it will help you. For topic ideas check out my other post First Date Conversation Topics.

Pay The Bill

For guys, when the time comes offer to pay. Most likely she will decline but making a sincere effort to pay is usually good enough. Don’t be overly persistent, if she doesn’t want you to pay after you’ve made a sincere effort offer to split the bill.

Follow The 2 Day Rule

After your date, don’t contact them for two days. If you contact them any sooner you are only going to come across as desperate. Any later and you will come across as not interested. A simple “hey I had fun the other night” should be good enough.

How To Hold Her Attention

Although most men would say getting up the nerve to walk up and talk to a woman is their biggest fear, what happens after should be what you are concerned about. After a few reassuring looks and signs, everyone can work up the courage to walk up to a woman and say hi, it’s going to require a lot more to hold her attention. Do you know what to do? How about which topics to avoid? Help on both of these can be found on my other posts First Conversation Mistakes and Picking Up Women (Do’s and Don’ts). Read on below to find out some of the best ways to hold a woman’s attention.

Conversational Spot

If you’ve successfully grabbed her interest, the first thing you need to do is find a good spot to talk to her. Lead her to a place where the two of you can talk more comfortably, she will be more likely to agree if she actually wants to know more about you. Holding a woman’s attention requires leaving crowds and loud music, it shows that you enjoy speaking to her.

Eye Contact

You shouldn’t have to continuously stare into her eyes, in fact that’s something you should avoid doing. Instead make sure to meet her gaze on a continuous basis. Eye contact has a lot to do with confidence and confidence is one trait women look for. Other traits can be found on Qualities Women Want In A Man.

Ask Continuing Questions

Don’t just ask her yes or no questions. You are trying to get her involved in the conversation. Ask her opinions on things. If she tells you what her job is then ask her a specific question about that. If you are doing it correctly she should end up talking more than you do, and that’s exactly what you want.

Focus On A Topic Of Her Choice

Don’t just go on and on about whatever you want leaving her just sitting there nodding her head. If she mentions something and seems particularly interested in it then focus on that. If she brought it up, how can she be bored with it?

Be Attentive

Pay attention to what she is saying. Find a way to bring it up later on to show her you were listening. If she makes a joke you think is funny or agrees with you on anything, make an effort to build on that compatibility.

Is Your Partner Lying To You?

Knowing if someone is lying to you doesn’t require you to have psychic powers or mind reading. The difference between a lie and the truth can be distinguished by your partner’s body language. Most people are unaware of the body language they give out since it’s completely involuntary. This is what makes it such a great tool in finding out the truth. The body never lies, so pay attention and see if your partner is exhibiting any of the signs below when being questioned.

Lack of Eye Contact

One of the biggest signs of deception is that your partner can’t look you in the eyes. Usually if someone is telling the truth they will give you their full attention.

Too Much Eye Contact

People who are good at lying know the signs that they give out, so they might compensate by making too much direct eye contact.

Speech Pattern

When people are lying they usually speak very hesitantly in a higher pitch than usual. They make more grammatical errors and slips of the tongue than when telling the truth. Their tone of voice also won’t match their facial expressions. Another thing to watch for is if your partner is covering their mouth. This can be something as simple as a single finger placed over their lips or having their hand over their entire mouth.

Contradicting Statements

If your partner is making contradicting statements that just don’t sound quite right, chances are pretty high that they are lying to you.

Change Subjects Easily

If someone is lying to you and you change subjects, it’s very likely that they are going to go right along with it. People who are telling the truth will stop you and ask why you changed subjects and want to go back to talking about it.

Overly Defensive
A guilty person will always act more defensive than someone who is telling the truth. If your partner is being extremely defensive or refusing to answer questions, they most likely are lying to you.

Of course no one can tell for sure whether someone is lying to them. It all comes down to how well you know that person and trusting your instincts. Keep in mind though that your instincts can be influenced by your own insecurities. It’s best to compare your partners normal behaviors to the ones they are exhibiting when you think they are lying and see how the two compare.

Checking Out Others While In a Relationship

It’s no secret that we will encounter someone attractive other than our partner, and we are going to look. It’s natural to look at someone you find attractive and there is no need to feel ashamed or guilty about it or see yourself as being unfaithful to your partner. But what do you do if your boyfriend or girlfriend is constantly checking out other people? Every time you two go out he or she is always looking around, not paying any attention to you. Is there such a thing as looking too much?

Although it is natural for people to look, there is a right and a wrong way of going about it. When you are on your own, feel free to look around all you want. Your partner isn’t there so you don’t have to worry about anyone’s feelings getting hurt. When you are with your partner however, you are going to need to be a little more discreet. A quick glance over is harmless, but if you stare, exchange smiles, or even look like you are undressing them with your eyes, you’ve got a problem. Not only is this disrespectful to your partner but it can make them feel hurt and unattractive, lowering their self-esteem.

A look every now and then is fine but if you find your partner constantly checking out other men or women it could be a sign that they are losing interest in the relationship. Start paying more attention to their behavior for any other signs that they might be giving off that he or she isn’t as interested in you anymore. Check out my post on Break Up Signs for help with that. If you have become tired of your partners wandering eye, then it’s time to talk to them about it. Good communication is the key to every healthy relationship. Let your partner know you feel upset by their behavior. If your partner doesn’t make any changes to their behavior, it’s pretty safe to say they don’t consider your feelings important.

Signs of a Bad Relationship

Are you happy in your relationship? Relationships can be far more complicated than they seem on the surface. You see a cute couple holding hands and assume they will be together forever, but before you know it they could break up and go their separate ways. What seems perfectly fine and stable on the outside might not be the case on the inside. Keep an eye out for hints of a bad relationship and fix them before things get worse. Not the hints that everyone sees such as arguments, but little subtle hints that only you or your partner might notice. How do you know what these hints are? Listed down below are the possible signs that you might be in a bad relationship.  

Loss of Respect  

Respect is an important part of every relationship. If you don’t respect your partner, they are sure to find someone who respects them and likes them for who they are.

Avoiding Conflict

When arguments and anger build up for your partner, you are more likely to distance yourself from them while they will have no clue what’s going on.  

Silence  

Lack of communication will disconnect you and your partner from each other and soon neither one of you will have anything to share with each other.  

Taking Each other for granted  

This is probably the most common sign of a bad relationship. It’s easy to forget and take for granted all your partner does for you.  

Talking bad about each other  

How can you expect a relationship to work when you are trying to convince yourself that your partner is not good enough for you?

Signs He Loves You

Some guys are comfortable expressing their affection while others have a hard time expressing their feelings in a romantic way. Your boyfriend or husband might say that he loves you, but he might not be able to express just how much you mean to him. For women, saying I love you is the biggest sign of commitment in a relationship and they need some reassurance every now and then. For men, saying I love you the first few times is important, after that its compatibility and understanding that matters more. If your boyfriend or husband isn’t saying I love you anymore, it doesn’t mean he’s not into you. He may be showing it in other ways, but are you noticing it? Down below is a list of signs that a guy loves you, even if he might not say it.

1. Remembers what you say

2. Takes care of your needs

3. Holds your hand

4. Wraps his arms around you

5. Treats you like a lady

6. Very protective of you

7. Respects you

8. Uses the word “we”

9. Apologizes when he’s wrong

10. Loves spending time with you

11. Praises and encourages you

12. Helps you even when you don’t ask for it

13. Makes you smile when you are having a bad day

14. Loves listening to you

15. Takes an interest in your life

Top Ten Things You Should Never Say To a Guy

Have you ever seen your guy’s expression change in a flash? You most likely said something you probably shouldn’t have. Guys in general are fairly easy going and can put up with a lot of stuff including insults and let downs. Every now and then though you may let something slip that’s going to hurt him a lot more than you might think. You can tease a guy but never make him feel like less of a man. If anything bothers men it is realizing that the girl he likes thinks he isn’t man enough. Down below is a list of top 10 things you should never say to a guy. Note that these aren’t numbered in any specific order.

1. You are so insecure

He might feel insecure especially if you are a good looking girl, but that doesn’t mean he wants to hear about it. 

2. You are so immature

More than likely he is going to dislike you for always behaving like his mother and treating him like a child.

3. No I will do it myself

Guys like to offer help to feel important. If you reject him every time he tries to help he might assume that you think he isn’t capable of doing anything important.

4. I have dated better guys

This one shouldn’t really need an explanation. Just know that if you say it, your relationship most likely won’t last long after that.

5. Can you introduce me to that guy?

Unless it’s a celebrity he knows, it’s best to refrain from saying it for obvious reasons.

6. Why don’t you accept that you can’t do it?

Men don’t like to fail. The fact that YOU think he can’t do something is going to make the situation worse.

7. My ex did it why can’t you?

Never use the word ex around your boyfriend unless you are complimenting him. Guys don’t like to be compared to other guys.

 

8. Your friend is so charming

If you feel that way it’s something you should keep to yourself, especially if it’s something you haven’t complimented your boyfriend about.

9. What is wrong with you?

Don’t ever yell at him or put him down in front of his friends or family. That never tends to go over well.

10. We need to talk

If you need to talk, say it in another way. Saying “we need to talk” will instantly put him on the defensive.

Age Difference In Relationships

How old is too old? How young is too young? You need to ask yourself these questions before you start your new relationship with anyone if there is an age gap. There are times when the age difference will matter, other times it really won’t. The thing that is going to make the biggest difference in this is how big the age gap between you two is and how old you both are. 

Look at it this way, you are 20 and your girlfriend is 15. Besides being illegal, most people would obviously see something wrong there. Now take those same 5 years only now you are 25 and she is 20. Not so much of a problem now is it? In fact that seems to be fairly common in most relationships. Age can have a huge impact on your relationship if you are in your teens to twenties. It seems to not matter as much during your thirties and forties but becomes apparent again in your fifties and sixties.

Insecurity is a common issue that comes up in relationships that have an age gap. Nobody likes aging, especially the older person in the relationship. How would you feel if you saw your partner talking to someone closer to their age? Would you feel like they were connecting better emotionally? What about their hobbies and interests? It’s normal for everyone to be a little bit insecure in their relationship but the age gap only makes it more difficult.

As was just mentioned, your interests and hobbies will be different, but so will your behavior. Take two people born 10 years apart. Your behavior will be different because you two grew up in different decades. You might like to sleep late, while he might get up at dawn. Is your breakfast a calorie calculated meal while he just eats whatever he feels like? While these little differences might not be a problem at first they can cause problems later on down the road. What’s going to happen when you hit 30 and still feel like going out but he’s in his 50s and all he wants to do is stay home? Ultimately dating someone younger or older is going to come down to how much the age difference bothers you and how you two plan on handling things in your relationship.

Plenty of Fish Online Dating Service Review

By now I’m sure almost everyone has heard of Plenty of Fish. For those who haven’t, Plenty of Fish is a free online dating website that claims to have “More dates, more relationships, more visits than any other online dating site”.  Claiming “over 7 million conversations per day”, finding your soul mate shouldn’t be a hard task to accomplish. From all the free dating websites, this is definitely one of the ones I enjoyed the most. Find out why in the review below.

Signing up for Plenty of Fish was easy enough. Like all dating sites, you create a username and password and fill in some basic information about yourself and your account is ready. Once you have signed in you can begin to create your profile. You start out with a basic questionnaire about yourself with questions such as hair color, smoker or non smoker, religion, etc. One of the questions I really liked was the “I am looking for”. It lets you select between hang out, long term, dating, friends, or intimate encounter, which should make it much easier to find someone with the same purpose on there as you. Other questions such as interests and first date really seem to be quite helpful in the matchmaking process. Once everything is filled out your next step is to upload a profile picture.

A great thing that Plenty of Fish has that I haven’t seen anywhere before is their Chemistry Predictor. You select between Disagree, Somewhat Disagree, Somewhat Agree, and Agree on questions such as “I get nervous easily” and “I am a very productive person”. The answers to these questions are then used to set you up with our most ideal match on the site. Once you have done this you are pretty much ready to go. One thing I would recommend that again I haven’t seen on another free dating site is to take their Relationship Needs Assessment.

The Relationship Needs Assessment determines what you need in a relationship based on 9 key factors:

Interdependence                                            Intimacy

Self-Efficacy                                                    Relationship Readiness

Communication                                               Conflict Resolution

Sexuality                                                          Attitudes About Love

Preferred Expressions of Affection

I found the feedback to be quite useful and fairly accurate and it should be a great help for anyone, not just for those interested in online dating. Another great thing that the assessment does is give you certain things that you might Over-value or Under-value. They choose certain questions you answered and give you possible reasons as to why you might feel that way.

One of the best features that I have seen on Plenty of Fish is the “Will Respond” option. Clicking on this will pull up a list of users that have been online in the last 20 hours and are expected to be online again within the next 3. This is a great tool so you don’t sit there waiting on someone for days to reply or might not log back on again. If you enjoy the website, they have a member ship upgrade for $35.40 for 3 months, $51.00 for 6 months, or $81.40 for a year, with a ton of useful features such as seeing who voted yes, no, or maybe on your profile and seeing if your messages were viewed or deleted. If you are looking for a great free online dating website, Plenty of Fish is one I would highly recommend. Have you had any success with Plenty of Fish? Leave your experiences with the website in the comments below.

Christmas Gift Tips And Ideas

With Christmas about two weeks away, it’s time for most people to start shopping for their Christmas gifts. You might have your gifts already picked out for your family, but have you thought about what you are going to get for your significant other? Gift giving actually depends on where you two currently stand in your relationship. Even if you two have just started dating, it’s still nice to get them a little something but don’t go overboard with it. The first 5 or 6 months of any relationship you are usually setting a precedent for things to come. If you go all out on your gift shopping your partner will learn to expect it and it won’t be as special anymore when you do it. This is why your gift cost should always reflect your relationship length.

This is important to keep in mind because not only do you not want to overspend on someone you just met, you also don’t want to send the wrong message. If you spend $100+ on someone you recently started dating, they will either freak out because things would seem like they are moving too fast, or possibly take advantage of that and ask for more expensive things whether they truly liked you or not. I find this situation has always worked best: 

Just started dating up to a few weeks: Under $35-40

Dating for a few months or getting intimate: Under $100

6 months on up: $100+

ALWAYS GIFT WRAP YOUR GIFTS. I can’t stress this enough. No one likes getting a gift just handed to them, especially on Christmas. Remember how you felt unwrapping gifts on Christmas morning? That feeling doesn’t go away. So if possible always gift wrap your Christmas presents. Down below you will find a list of top Christmas gift ideas ranging anywhere from dating for a couple of weeks to over six months. Clothing is always a good option but it's hard to know their size or style so unless you are sure it's best to avoid.

Gift Cards 

Their Favorite Book

DVD Movie or Box Set

Quality Wrist Watch

Sporting Goods/Outdoors Equipment

Favorite Sports Team Gear

Jewelry

Playing Hard To Get

We all want what we can’t have. For some this comes from jealousy, others from an allure of the unattainable. Whatever the reason, someone has something, and you want it. The same is true when it comes to relationships. Have you ever heard the saying that married men seem to get hit on a lot more than when they were single? These guys didn’t instantly become more physically attractive once they got married or involved in a relationship, it’s the fact that they now seem unattainable that becomes a great attraction builder. Playing hard to get works in a similar fashion. The reason why this works is because you show interest in the person, but then take it away. Man or woman, doing this will leave the other person wondering what's going on and help build attraction. The few tips below should be a good guide line to get you started.

Don’t make them the center of attention
 
Don’t answer their calls or texts immediately

Don’t always agree or give in easily

Don’t seem too eager to speak or see the person
 
Don't always go out when they ask, instead suggest plans at another time
 
When playing hard to get keep in mind that you are not totally trying to ignore or avoid the person. The key is to not be all over them, make them chase after you instead. Little things like not answering a call or text right away can drive some people crazy with jealousy about what you might be doing, especially if they like you. Think about how you feel when you really like someone but they don't answer their phone. You immediately start thinking about who they are with and what they are doing, and if your the jealous type, you will try harder to get that person. This is what you are trying to make him or her do with you.

The Art Of The Backhanded Compliment

The backhanded compliment, an extremely useful skill if done right. A complete nightmare if done wrong. Few people can actually pull it off, but with some practice you will be able to as well. Lets start with the basics first. What is a backhanded compliment? 

To put it simply a backhanded compliment is an insult disguised as a compliment. The way they work in dating is that they are intended to make the other person laugh or smile. You are not really trying to insult the person but more so tease them. This is why it requires a certain amount of skill to pull off. If done wrong it will be seen as just an insult and most likely ruin your chances. But if done right it can do wonders for you. 

A great example is “You've got to be among the top 10 women/men in here”.  You are complimenting them by saying they look great, but you are "teasing" them by saying they are in the top 10. For most people this will make them think and bring up a response to where they will try to prove their worth to you in a way, thereby making them end up chasing you instead of you chasing them.

This example usually works better for teens or younger adults but if its something you are into it should work for any age. It is tricky to pull off since the mood and timing has to be right but if you can pull it off it can easily help you set up a date.  It's best done if you two are already laughing and having fun.

"Yeah you're a great driver, for a woman."

"What!? I'm a great driver!

"Oh yeah? Prove it."

"How?"

"This weekend, at the go kart track, just me and you, show me those great driving skills."

"Your on! I bet I'm a better driver than you"

If you are unsure about this technique, it’s best not to use it. But if you have a good attitude about it and pick your spots then it can be one of your best assets.

Multiple Sex Partners

So you met a man or woman you really like and the sex is great. You two hang out all the time and are really hitting it off. The problem is you just don’t feel like you can fully commit right now. Maybe you just got out of a relationship and are dating at the moment and want to be careful before jumping into your next one. Whatever your reason, as long as you are honest with yourself and what this person means to you, you can successfully have multiple sex partners if you play your cards right.

Don’t Mislead Them

Don’t ever lie or avoid the question. Never make them think you two are exclusive or that there is something more. If they ask always be honest and tell them you just can’t be exclusive right now.

Give Them a Choice

You have to always be fair and let them know where you stand. Tell each person that you are also sleeping with someone else and are not into being exclusive right now but you do enjoy your time together. This gives them the choice of looking for someone else if they choose to do so.

Remember The Differences

It’s essential you remember the differences between all the men or women you are with. You don’t want to have a deep conversation or a special moment and forget who it was with. The time you share with each person has meaning to them so know your limits. If you don’t think you can handle it, don’t go for it.

Keep Track of Each Partner

Keep track of where you are in each relationship. As you get to know each person eventually you will end up liking one of them more than the rest. You never know how things are going to play out so you want to value your time with each person and make the time unique.