Depression in Relationships

I received an email from a reader who had a problem with her husband’s depression and how it was affecting their relationship and figured it would be a good topic to cover for any of those who might be in the same situation. Let’s start by explaining exactly what depression is. Depression put simply is a constant feeling of sadness or hopelessness. People with depression are usually unmotivated to do just about anything and even simple tasks become large obstacles. Many researchers believe that depression is caused by chemical changes in the brain, possibly caused by a problem with your genes or triggered by certain stressful life events. Anyone can develop depression, even children. People with depression usually have a more negative attitude about things and can’t imagine problems being solved in a positive way. Some other symptoms of depression are listed below.

• Feelings of guilt, worthlessness, helplessness
• Fatigue and lack of energy
• Trouble sleeping or too much sleeping
• Loss of interest or pleasure in activities that were once enjoyed
• Difficulty concentrating, remembering, or making decisions 

Our reader’s problem was that she was with her husband for over 6 years and was starting to lose attraction towards him. He was on medication for the depression, but he just wasn’t the same man he used to be. He had stopped doing a lot of what he used to love to do and they barely communicated anymore. When they did talk it was over simple things like work. She stuck with him but over time lost feelings for him and needed advice on whether she should stick with him or move on with her life.

If you are in a similar situation you need to ask yourself, would you be with this person if they improved? If things went back to how they were, would the attraction for him/her come back? If the answer is no, you need to move on with your life. Sit them down and explain to them what the problem is and the effect it’s having on your relationship. Be honest with them, but be gentle as their depression is not their fault or something they can control. You only get one life, you need to do what makes you happy first. The link below will take you to a website with great information about depression for anyone interested in learning more about it.

PubMed Health : Depression